Today, I would like to take a moment to reflect on one of my favorite barfs.

My humans had gone on vacation to some southern tropical paradise. They had the unmitigated temerity to leave me and my little sister at home, alone all day save for short visits from our grandparents (who thankfully resupplied our food and water dishes).

This obsession the humans have with abandoning their houses to visit distant lands is beyond me. It's absurd.

So I, of course, realizing that they needed to be taught a valuable lesson, unleashed one of the most epic barfs of my long and prosperous career. I tossed my cat cookies while sitting on the top of one of the human's computer chairs. Not only that, but I pivoted mid-barf so as to coat BOTH sides of the chair.

My vomitous trophy plunged downward from the top of the chair and into the little vinyl crevices where the chair's arms are screwed into the body, and then continued south to leave some nice spots on the carpet. The humans haven't gone on vacation since.